10:21AM - Bored at home

I haven't been up to much since my last post, I am mostly on myspace, but I check my LJ still because I really don't have anything better to do. Once I am done with my school work I just kind of hang out. I do housework, but there is only so much you can do to clean up after two people and two dogs. Anyways, we have a puppy named Copper and Brady got him for me to try to fill a void, but it is not the same as a baby. We will be getting reviewed for foster parenting soon I hope. I think I would rather adopt a baby, so if you know anyone that is going to have a baby and would like to put it up for adoption please let me know. I also would like to go to the doctor and see if their is anything we can do to have our own, which I doubt there is, but oh well it is worth a try. So that is all that is going on with me and I hope that everything is going well with all of you, keep in touch!

Love, Hillary

5:42PM - Good bye and Good Luck.

I realized today that I have no reason to keep myspace, xanga, livejournal or facebook. This will be my last blog...In a day I will be deleting all of my accounts. If you want to contact me (I am sure it doesn't matter) you may leave me a final message or email me at hillary.hawkes@gmail.com. you may also contact me on aim as snid15 (i won't be on much anymore). Thank you, good bye and good luck.

7:43PM - again copied from jessica...the answers to my last post

Here are the answers to my game in the last post, only read once you have finished filling out what you think are the correct answers...thanks!

7:31PM - copied this game from jessica...its interesting

1. Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love of at some time in your life.
2. Have your friends list guess your favourite character from each item.

1. Harry Potter Movies
2. Harry Potter Books
3. Chronicles of Narnia Books
4. Lion, Witch, and The Wardrobe Movie
5. Love Comes Softly
6. Left Behind
7. X-Men Movies
8. Donkey Konga
9. That 70s Show
10. Dawson's Creek
11. Charmed
12. What I Like About You
13. Blade Trinity
14. The Little Mermaid
15. Spiderman Movies
16. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
17. Scream Trilogy
18. The Five Love Languages
19. That's So Raven
20. Saved by the Bell

11:42AM - Tonight

please pray for us as tonight we are going to a foster parent orientation meeting. we feel like our mission is to open our home to children in need. tonight we will be starting our first major steps on this journey and could really use some encouragement. Right now we feel like there is a child in the foster program that is desperately seeking Jesus, so we feel like we will be getting a foster child right away. Our meeting is tonight at 6pm and I can't wait!!!

9:12PM - this one's for Tere!

You Passed 8th Grade Spanish

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

1:21PM - holy crap this is long...

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.  (thats basically all i do besides play on the internet and clean my house...kinda pathetic)	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana.  (I never have and I never intend to, drugs are not my thing.)
✓ I've watched porn movies.  (I have been in a room when the person in the next room was watching them and i saw a foot, but that was all...)	✓ I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.  (No, there is one in my minivan though, but its for emergencies, I guess...)

( it goes on... )
so anyways...things are fine...

11:58AM - i'm giving up slowly

ever have a really bad day then have like three people just completely reaffirm what you are feeling? that was my day yesterday...i was feeling kinda down because i still don't know anyone and i feel like my family is so far away and my brother calls and starts calling me a bunch of mean names. then someone denied my friend request on myspace (this doesn't really mean much today, but when you are having a bad day it just makes things worse.) to top it all off, my mother-in-law stopped by and acted like she was mad about something...i just don't know what to do anymore...i guess i just go pick some raspberries and make raspberry jam...the end

by mrs. hawkes

2:19PM - Jesus Take the Wheel!

Ok, I do not like country music at all, but today I was doing my devotions and the christian music station was on and they played a song by Carrie Underwood, called "Jesus Take the Wheel". I wasn't a fan of the music, but the message and the lyrics were amazing. I was totally broken from this song. Praise God! How weird is it that hearing the words, "jesus take the wheel" could be exactly what I needed to hear from God today. I am a total control freak and I need to let go and let God in on the control! Yay God!
Love, Hillary

10:30AM - "Stranded at the drive-in, branded 'what a fool', what will they say monday at school"

Great song, I am considering watching Grease today, but I have Taylor, so I will have to wait til she goes home. We were supposed to go to the beach today, but I am not sure if I am in the mood to go or not. Last night Brady and I went to the drive-in movies. Who knew that there still were drive-ins in michigan!?!?! I was excited to go and it was a blast. You get to see more movies then one for the price of one and you get to hang out in the comfort of your own vechicle. We saw part of over the hedge and all of Nacho Libre, they were both ok, but it was still fun! Well thats all that I have to say for now, I am almost done with school til grad school and I can't wait! Hopefully i will update again soon! Love, Hillary

5:28PM - much better

of course, we are doing much better now then in my last post. We are leaving for florida in 10 days!!!! I can't wait. I love brady and i love our home and our babies (zoey and link) and everything! life is good, God is GREAT! we went to frontline church lastnight in ann arbor and it rocked, i loved it!! seriously, I would love to start going there all of the time. we also went to the casino last night, mgm grand in detroit, and we lost, but we learned that we live 40 minutes from detroit. I like living close to big cities like, lansing, ann arbor, and detroit (about an hour from lansing, and 10 minutes to ann arbor). I would like to invite everyone to come see our house! This summer I think it would be cool to have a party on the beach (we live by like 7 or 8 lakes), so I would like to invite anyone who wants to come see our house and come to a beach party at independence lake in whitmore lake, michigan to leave me a note here and let me know. i think that it is going to be in the middle of the summer, like July, but it all depends on when everyone is available. love to everyone! have a great day!

7:21PM - Tough Times

We have been screwed over by our bank and a insurance company. Right now all we can afford is the food that is already in our home, last week we had more money then we can spend and now we are just suckers. We will both be gettin paid on the same day from now on though and that will really help out. I just want to go out and do something...money needs to be saved for Florida though, we leave the 16th of March!!!!! One Month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace...have a great weekend!

12:33PM - Saturdays when Brady Works

Wow, I need a weekend job. When I do not have Zachary I am BORED. Today I was able to get my homework done by noon, that is insane. Brady is at work until 6 tonight, but then is going to a U of M hockey game. I don't have anything to do as ususual because I do not know anyone but Brady's family. So Brady found out that I was bored and called his mom and asked her to take me to a movie. Unfortunately for me, she already had plans with my neice. Now though, I think that plans have changed and I might be going out with Brady's mom and sisters. We did this last year and it was a lot of fun, so I think that would be cool if we could do that. So, I really need to find some people that live in the Ann Arbor Area that do not attend the U of M. I think that I will be going to the U of M in a few years, but I will be taking online classes again. You never know though, I might decide to take a few campus classes here and there. I still haven't decided if I am going to go there for my master's or not because I would feel like a traitor, but oh well, its all good. Anyways...I am bored...there is nothing on tv...i should clean my house, but don't want to...wow...i could make this go on forever with whatever comes into my mind...but I won't...i don't want to make you as bored as I am...have a good day...peace out...your friend...mrs...hillary...hawkes

4:18PM - what i just put in my xanga page, cause i haven't updated either in a long time...

So, I have some random thoughts today that I wanted to get out of my head and I thought, why not share with the rest of the world? Anyways, if you have any thoughts on my thoughts or any random thoughts please feel free to share them with me!

Wow, finding a church is tough. We really having been trying hard enough, but we are feeling a strong pull to an independent church in Ann Arbor. They give free dinner to homeless people before their Sunday service (which is in the evening, so you don't have to wake up early), which I think is cool and I would really like to help out with that. Brady doesn't seemed worried at all about finding a church, but he is the type of person that knows without a doubt that God has the situation under control. I know that God will take care of it, I am just impatient and I tend to be a control freak. I just really need a church because I really need a friend. It is so hard to make friends, even when you live within 50 feet of someone else's home. Yes, I said it, our house is only located about 50 feet from the houses on both sides of us. We don't have much room, but that is not a big deal because it is our house. Anyways, I am kind of making friends with the neighbors, but they are big partiers and obviously I am not really into that scene. I tried to fit in with people like that before, but that was totally wrong and I will never do it again. Back to the church situation, I really want to find a place where I can get involved and make some good christian friends. I know that we are supposed to have non christian friends also and I do kind of have that, but I just feel like I would have a lot more in common with christians.

Alright, so we have health insurance and a pretty good sized bank account and we own a house. Not everything is perfect though, everyone keeps asking us when we are going to reproduce. We both want to have a baby, its just that I don't think that we can. We are going to Florida in April and when we get back we plan on going to the doctor to see if we are ready for something like a baby. I really feel though that God would like us to take in a foster child, but I have felt that God wanted me to be a foster parent for a long time. I guess only God knows what will happen next in our lives as far as children go, so we will see. For now I am happy watching Zach at our house and playing with our neices and nephew.

I think I may have some lingering depression, so pray for my healing there, please. Sometimes I just cry for no reason and I feel like the walls are closing in. I am alone most of the time, so I just get sad at times and feel like I am a loser. I know though that I am not a loser, I am just a student that also happens to be a homemaker. I don't know though, it is hard to be a homemaker without any children, but I think that Zoey, our dog, Link, our cat, and Zach, the kid I babysit for, are a lot to handle without children around.

I praise God everyday for all of the blessings that he has given me. I have a wonderful husband, that I take for granted, a wonderful minivan, that I think has kind of made me look at my dad in a whole new light, a great house, it isn't much, but it has our names on the ownership line, two perfect pets, they stink, but they are lovey, and last but definately not least my relationship with Jesus Christ, I really take advantage of this, but it is what has given me all of the above..

3:10PM - Babies

This is Zoey, our dog, and Link, our cat.  I love having them here with us, they are so sweet and they are getting along well.  The picture is a little blurred though because they wouldn't hold still to get their pictures taken.

11:21AM - UPDATED

so christmas was good, brady let me get my nails done! I got lots of presents, but we gave some really good ones this year and of that I was really proud. We didn't make it to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas day because of the crazy scheduale that we had to follow. Basically we did a LOT of driving. It was fun though and good to see everyone. I really miss my family, so I am glad now that we did not move out of state because at least now we are close enough to drive for a few hours to go see everyone. We still have one more Christmas to go with my dad's family and that is on Jan. 1, hopefully Brady doesn't have to work, I don't want to have to drive there on my own. I really hope though, that my dad does not get us anything, because he already gave us the van, but I have a feeling he is going to. I need to get off my butt right now though and start getting this house ready for our New Year's eve Bash (you are invited, but you won't come anyways and there are only going to be a few of brady's friends and that is all). I have to babysit on the 29th and 30th. I know that babysitting is for teenage girls, but I enjoy it and it is a good way for me to make some spending money. Alright, I have babbled on enough. Have a good day everyone and if I am not on before, Happy New Year!

7:07PM - Christmas in 2 days!`

Christmas is going to be hectic this year, but don't forget what it is all about, Jesus!!!!

http://www.reuters.hu/card_dom/index_content.html This link is not about christmas, but it is cute, so go to it and watch it. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!

12:12PM - Merry Christmas!

I thought this adorable picture of my cousin's daughter, Kamryn would get everyone in the holiday spirit!  Have a wonderful Christmas!!!!

11:40AM - House Keeper

Yesterday Brady called me his, "little housekeeper." I don't know why that hurt my feelings so much, but it did. I know he didn't mean anything bad by it, in fact, I know that he meant to say "homemaker", but it just came out wrong and it hurts. Anyways, I have been laying on the couch all morning eating those mini donuts, so I better not eat anything else today. I love our couch, but it makes me want to just rest all of the time and that is really not good. I think that I am going to get off soon though and get my painting clothes on so that I can go paint. Talk to you all later! Love, Hillary

7:51PM - almost moved in

i have spent all day cleaning the kitchen and taking out and washing all of my dishes. I don't think that the washer and dryer work, but oh well, we can always get new ones. We bought a couch yesterday and it feels like sitting on a cloud, it is so awesome. I should be getting back to my cleaning, but I keep playing around and downloading stuff. Anways I am going now...if you want to see our new place let me know when you want to come down and I will either set up a party or make dinner.

Love, Hillary